God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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