Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
