Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
