and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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