i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
