I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
