If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he fucked my hip out of place.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
