i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
