Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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