RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Randomize
