please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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