another moral hangover. fuck.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
