Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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