Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
