i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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