just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Your cock deserves a montage
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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