Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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