Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
