all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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