Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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