i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
