We're facebook friends in real life
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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