why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
