i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
