My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
