remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
