I heard we made out
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
