hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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