The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just had sex bonerless
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Randomize
