Sponge bath it is.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
