Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
