Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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