i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
