Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
