Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
