Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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