do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
