i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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