just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
