Can Purell be used as lube?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
two words...techno handjob
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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