Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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