Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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