I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
