I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
