ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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