just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
