I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
