where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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