good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
