it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize