i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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