using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
