i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
