You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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