Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
where does the pee come out of this thing
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
