Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
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Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
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All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth