why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle