guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
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Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
you had me at cake vodka
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
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His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.