Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize