so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
