i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
