The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
