they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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