I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
