so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
