ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
