WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
