Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
