You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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