also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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