My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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