Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
